Problem with calling Ukrainian refugee Sofiia Karkadym a ‘homewrecker’

Ukrainian refugee Sofiia Karkadym made headlines when a UK man left his accomplice for her – however there’s one factor the web bought very fallacious.

Sofiia Karkadym made headlines over the weekend for being on the centre of a “bitter love triangle” – however there’s one factor the web bought fallacious together with her story.

The 22-year-old went viral when it was revealed father-of-two Tony Garnett had left his accomplice for her 10 days after she got here to reside with the household to flee the struggle in Ukraine.

Ms Karkadym was immediately branded a “homewrecker” – though, as University of Melbourne social scientist Associate Professor Lauren Rosewarne advised information.com.au, she wasn’t the one with the house to wreck.

“I never thought or planned to go into their home and take Tony from Lorna. That never crossed my mind,” Ms Karkadym, who maintained nothing occurred between the pair till they’d left the household dwelling, advised The Sun of the vitriol she’d confronted.

“As far as I’m concerned, they destroyed their relationship long before I arrived. Their relationship was at fault. None of this is my work. It was my decision to leave when I did and Tony decided to come with me.”

She added that her personal kinfolk advised her she’d put different UK households off internet hosting Ukrainian refugees.

“My parents said they were ashamed and cannot go outside because of me. They say that because of me nobody in the UK will take in Ukrainians. Every UK family will now think, ‘I can’t take in a refugee because she will take my husband from me,’” Ms Karkadym stated.

“It’s more than about me, Tony and Lorna. It’s deeper. It’s about everything, about the war, refugees, helping people, everything. In my country, it is important for refugees to get the help they need and this has done the opposite.

“You cannot understand what I feel. It’s your country, you have your family here, you have everything here. And now I have people writing to me saying I’m a horrible person, that I did a bad thing for my country. Everyone in the UK is thinking the same thing because I ‘took’ [the] man from the family – but all of this is lies.”

Asked why the blame falls on the so-called “other woman” when a person has an affair, Dr Rosewarne stated it’s “because women are expected to be able to temper their libidos in ways that our culture pretends men can’t”.

“Women have also long been tasked with [the] duty of sexual gatekeeping – that they are somehow not only responsible for their own desires, but also for men’s too; that somehow the duty is on them not to tempt men,” she stated.

“Obviously these ideas are underpinned by antiquated gendered stereotypes that many people still clutch to.”

Dr Rosewarne added that “if the man is married and he has an affair, he has wrecked his home”.

“Blaming the other woman just allows us to frame the man as some kind of hapless victim to his penis, rather than an adult who made his own decisions,” she stated.

In a bit for Time, Los Angeles-based relationship psychologist Brandy Engler famous that society’s tendency in charge the one who your accomplice has cheated with (slightly than your accomplice) could be as a result of “it’s easier to turn to rage and a desire to attack another person than it is to deal with shame”.

“Our minds create this monolithic idea of her as a terrible person. As for the man who cheated, the betrayed woman likely still loves him,” she stated.

“Also, if the public narrative is to put the burden of blame on men, that would make us feel hopeless and sad about men. But if we can villainise one woman, we still have reason to hope – and it provides a collective discharge of angst about our fears of betrayal.

“Women have historically been a target for social anxieties, by the way – think witch burning, stoning, etc.

“To be clear, the person who breaks a vow or a promise is the guilty party.”

In order to fight the “homewrecker” narrative, Dr Rosewarne stated we have to recognise “that we might like the rhetoric of the idea of men being governed by their penises, but in reality they are adults who can and do make decisions on their own all the time”.

“To pretend they are inadvertent victims of a temptress,” she stated, “sounds rather biblical, fanciful and incredibly sexist.”

Originally revealed as Big drawback with calling Ukrainian refugee Sofiia Karkadym a ‘homewrecker’

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